diff --git a/CHANGELOG.md b/CHANGELOG.md
index d2e90ea4a..fb05143af 100644
--- a/CHANGELOG.md
+++ b/CHANGELOG.md
@@ -14,6 +14,7 @@ The changelog for `SuperwallKit`. Also see the [releases](https://github.com/sup
 - Fixes network requests that can never succeed, such as those with an invalid API key, taking up to a minute to fail instead of failing straight away. Timeouts and server errors still retry as before.
 - Fixes failed network requests being reported as a decoding error rather than the HTTP error that actually occurred.
 - Fixes issue where the paywall debugger wouldn't work for accounts with many paywalls.
+- Fixes network requests on iOS 16 and earlier briefly waiting on the main thread.
 - Fixes Main Thread Checker warnings caused by reading the device's interface style and text size from a background thread.
 - Prevents unused App Tracking Transparency support from triggering App Store Connect tracking warnings.
 - Stops Apple's microphone, location, and contacts class and selector names appearing in your app's binary when you don't use those permissions.
diff --git a/Sources/SuperwallKit/Network/Device Helper/DeviceHelper.swift b/Sources/SuperwallKit/Network/Device Helper/DeviceHelper.swift
index 6707eb471..edeb1bdf4 100644
--- a/Sources/SuperwallKit/Network/Device Helper/DeviceHelper.swift	
+++ b/Sources/SuperwallKit/Network/Device Helper/DeviceHelper.swift	
@@ -190,10 +190,24 @@ class DeviceHelper {
   /// forever. Only app bundles run `UIApplicationMain`, so the bundle type
   /// disambiguates.
   static var isUIKitReadSafe: Bool {
-    if UIApplication.sharedApplication != nil {
+    return isUIKitReadSafe(
+      hasApplication: UIApplication.sharedApplication != nil,
+      bundleURL: Bundle.main.bundleURL
+    )
+  }
+
+  /// The decision above, split from the globals it reads.
+  ///
+  /// Both facts come from process-wide state that a test can't stage: the runner has
+  /// no application object and isn't an app bundle, so the deciding arm — an app
+  /// bundle with no application yet — is unreachable through the property. Taking
+  /// them as parameters lets both arms be pinned, so loosening `"app"` can't leave
+  /// the suite green while re-opening the accent-color bug.
+  static func isUIKitReadSafe(hasApplication: Bool, bundleURL: URL) -> Bool {
+    if hasApplication {
       return true
     }
-    return Bundle.main.bundleURL.pathExtension != "app"
+    return bundleURL.pathExtension != "app"
   }
 
   /// The instance's view of ``isUIKitReadSafe``, injected at init. Every
@@ -265,9 +279,9 @@ class DeviceHelper {
   /// or the template and the header disagree on a backend-contract field.
   ///
   /// Not folded into a shared `interfaceStyle(from:)` helper on purpose: passing
-  /// `currentUITraits` would evaluate it eagerly, and below iOS 17 that read is a
-  /// blocking main-queue hop — one per network request whenever an override is set.
-  /// The early return here avoids it.
+  /// `currentUITraits` would evaluate it eagerly, scheduling a needless cache
+  /// refresh — one per network request whenever an override is set, and a blocking
+  /// fill on the first pre-launch read. The early return here avoids it.
   var interfaceStyle: String {
     if let interfaceStyleOverride = interfaceStyleOverride {
       return interfaceStyleOverride.description
@@ -318,22 +332,22 @@ class DeviceHelper {
   /// never fire it. Both show up as this no longer matching the active scene.
   private weak var observedTraitScene: UIWindowScene?
 
-  /// The current traits.
+  /// The current traits, served from the cache on every version.
   ///
-  /// Before iOS 17 there is no trait hook, so nothing invalidates the cache when the
-  /// appearance flips while the app stays active. These values were read live on
-  /// every access before caching was introduced, and serving a stale one would
-  /// regress `X-Device-Interface-Style` and the audience filters keyed on it — so
-  /// those versions read live. `makeUITraits()` makes the main-thread hop itself, and
-  /// off the main thread that hop *blocks* the caller until the main queue drains.
-  /// Read this once and reuse the snapshot rather than touching it per field.
+  /// `refreshUITraits()` keeps the cache fresh: main-thread reads refresh it
+  /// synchronously, off-main reads schedule one coalesced main-queue refresh —
+  /// blocking only to fill an empty cache, which happens when init ran before
+  /// `UIApplicationMain`.
   ///
-  /// From iOS 17 the hook keeps the cache current, and the scheduled refresh covers
-  /// the gap between launch and registration.
+  /// From iOS 17 the trait hook also updates the cache at the moment the appearance
+  /// flips. Below 17 there is no hook, so an in-place automatic light/dark change —
+  /// sunset while the app is frontmost — lands one read late via the refresh-on-read
+  /// backstop. That bounded lag is accepted in exchange for not blocking a
+  /// cooperative-pool thread on the main queue for every network request
+  /// (`X-Device-Interface-Style`) and template build; earlier releases read live here
+  /// and paid that hop each time. Text-size changes and flips made while backgrounded
+  /// still land immediately via the notification observers.
   private var currentUITraits: UITraits {
-    guard #available(iOS 17.0, *) else {
-      return DeviceHelper.makeUITraits(isUIKitReadSafe: isUIKitReadSafe) ?? .unavailable
-    }
     refreshUITraits()
     return uiTraits ?? .unavailable
   }
@@ -460,7 +474,16 @@ class DeviceHelper {
       }
       let category = UIApplication.sharedApplication?.preferredContentSizeCategory
         ?? UIScreen.main.traitCollection.preferredContentSizeCategory
-      let scaledValue = UIFontMetrics.default.scaledValue(for: 16.0)
+      // Scale against `category` explicitly. The implicit `scaledValue(for:)` resolves
+      // against `UITraitCollection.current`, which Apple documents as undefined outside
+      // a view or view-controller trait callback and stores per thread — so the two
+      // font numbers could disagree with the category on the line above, which is read
+      // from `UIApplication` and doesn't depend on trait context. One source, so the
+      // three values in a snapshot can't contradict each other in the audience filters.
+      let scaledValue = UIFontMetrics.default.scaledValue(
+        for: 16.0,
+        compatibleWith: UITraitCollection(preferredContentSizeCategory: category)
+      )
 
       return UITraits(
         interfaceStyle: interfaceStyleToken(
@@ -933,8 +956,8 @@ class DeviceHelper {
     let aliases = [identityInfo.aliasId]
 
     // Snapshot once. The four trait-derived fields below each go through
-    // `currentUITraits`, which before iOS 17 reads live behind a blocking
-    // main-queue hop, so reading them separately would make four of those per call.
+    // `currentUITraits`, so reading them separately would schedule four cache
+    // refreshes per call and could interleave with one, tearing the snapshot.
     // Taking the snapshot means `interfaceStyle` below resolves the override
     // inline rather than going through ``interfaceStyle``, so the two resolve it
     // the same way by hand — keep them in step.
diff --git a/Tests/SuperwallKitTests/Network/DeviceHelperTests.swift b/Tests/SuperwallKitTests/Network/DeviceHelperTests.swift
index 5f8efaa58..6298bf67b 100644
--- a/Tests/SuperwallKitTests/Network/DeviceHelperTests.swift
+++ b/Tests/SuperwallKitTests/Network/DeviceHelperTests.swift
@@ -12,6 +12,20 @@ import UIKit
 @testable import SuperwallKit
 
 struct DeviceHelperTests {
+  /// Scales the way `makeUITraits()` does — explicitly against the resolved category,
+  /// not the ambient `UITraitCollection.current`. Computing an expectation with the
+  /// implicit overload would make both sides inherit the same ambient-trait fault, so
+  /// the assertion couldn't fail on it.
+  @MainActor
+  private static func expectedScaledValue(for category: UIContentSizeCategory) -> Double {
+    return Double(
+      UIFontMetrics.default.scaledValue(
+        for: 16.0,
+        compatibleWith: UITraitCollection(preferredContentSizeCategory: category)
+      )
+    )
+  }
+
   @Test func makePaddedSdkVersion_withBeta() {
     let version = "3.0.0-beta.1"
     let paddedVersion = DeviceHelper.makePaddedVersion(using: version)
@@ -111,7 +125,7 @@ struct DeviceHelperTests {
     let expected = await MainActor.run { () -> (String, Int, Double, String) in
       let category = UIApplication.sharedApplication?.preferredContentSizeCategory
         ?? UIScreen.main.traitCollection.preferredContentSizeCategory
-      let scaledValue = Double(UIFontMetrics.default.scaledValue(for: 16.0))
+      let scaledValue = Self.expectedScaledValue(for: category)
       return (
         DeviceHelper.interfaceStyleToken(for: UIScreen.main.traitCollection.userInterfaceStyle),
         Int(scaledValue.rounded()),
@@ -137,7 +151,7 @@ struct DeviceHelperTests {
 
     #expect(deviceHelper.preferredContentSizeCategory == DeviceHelper.contentSizeCategoryToken(for: category))
     #expect(deviceHelper.interfaceStyle == DeviceHelper.interfaceStyleToken(for: UIScreen.main.traitCollection.userInterfaceStyle))
-    let scaledValue = Double(UIFontMetrics.default.scaledValue(for: 16.0))
+    let scaledValue = Self.expectedScaledValue(for: category)
     let expectedScale: Double = ((scaledValue / 16.0) * 100).rounded() / 100
 
     #expect(deviceHelper.fontSize == Int(scaledValue.rounded()))
@@ -167,7 +181,7 @@ struct DeviceHelperTests {
         ?? UIScreen.main.traitCollection.preferredContentSizeCategory
       return (
         DeviceHelper.interfaceStyleToken(for: UIScreen.main.traitCollection.userInterfaceStyle),
-        Int(UIFontMetrics.default.scaledValue(for: 16.0).rounded()),
+        Int(Self.expectedScaledValue(for: category).rounded()),
         DeviceHelper.contentSizeCategoryToken(for: category)
       )
     }
@@ -192,7 +206,7 @@ struct DeviceHelperTests {
     let expected = await MainActor.run { () -> (style: String, fontSize: Int, fontScale: Double, category: String) in
       let category = UIApplication.sharedApplication?.preferredContentSizeCategory
         ?? UIScreen.main.traitCollection.preferredContentSizeCategory
-      let scaledValue = Double(UIFontMetrics.default.scaledValue(for: 16.0))
+      let scaledValue = Self.expectedScaledValue(for: category)
       return (
         DeviceHelper.interfaceStyleToken(for: UIScreen.main.traitCollection.userInterfaceStyle),
         Int(scaledValue.rounded()),
@@ -250,6 +264,42 @@ struct DeviceHelperTests {
     #expect(DeviceHelper.isUIKitReadSafe)
   }
 
+  /// The arm that actually prevents #493 — an app bundle whose application object
+  /// doesn't exist yet, i.e. `configure` from a SwiftUI `App.init`. The property
+  /// can't reach it: this runner is neither an app bundle nor ever gets an
+  /// application, so drive the decision through the parameterised overload. Without
+  /// this, loosening `"app"` would leave the whole suite green.
+  @Test func isUIKitReadSafe_insideAnAppBundleBeforeLaunch_defersReads() {
+    #expect(
+      DeviceHelper.isUIKitReadSafe(
+        hasApplication: false,
+        bundleURL: URL(fileURLWithPath: "/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/Demo.app")
+      ) == false
+    )
+  }
+
+  /// Once `UIApplicationMain` has built the application object the accent colour is
+  /// already registered, so an app bundle stops deferring.
+  @Test func isUIKitReadSafe_insideAnAppBundleAfterLaunch_allowsReads() {
+    #expect(
+      DeviceHelper.isUIKitReadSafe(
+        hasApplication: true,
+        bundleURL: URL(fileURLWithPath: "/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/Demo.app")
+      )
+    )
+  }
+
+  /// Processes that never run `UIApplicationMain` — app extensions, this runner —
+  /// must not wait for an application that will never arrive.
+  @Test func isUIKitReadSafe_outsideAnAppBundleWithoutAnApplication_allowsReads() {
+    #expect(
+      DeviceHelper.isUIKitReadSafe(
+        hasApplication: false,
+        bundleURL: URL(fileURLWithPath: "/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/Demo.appex")
+      )
+    )
+  }
+
   @Test func makeScreenMetrics_whenReadsAreAllowed_readsTheScreen() {
     let metrics = DeviceHelper.makeScreenMetrics()
     #expect((metrics?.width ?? 0) > 0)
diff --git a/Tests/SuperwallKitTests/Permissions/MicrophonePermissionTests.swift b/Tests/SuperwallKitTests/Permissions/MicrophonePermissionTests.swift
index a7c64b2ec..7cd2ac267 100644
--- a/Tests/SuperwallKitTests/Permissions/MicrophonePermissionTests.swift
+++ b/Tests/SuperwallKitTests/Permissions/MicrophonePermissionTests.swift
@@ -76,11 +76,32 @@ struct AudioSessionProxyTests {
     #expect(validValues.contains(result))
   }
 
-  @Test func sharedInstance_returnsNonNil() {
+  /// Whether `AVAudioSession` is registered with the ObjC runtime is a property of
+  /// the runner image — `SuperwallKit` deliberately doesn't link AVFoundation and the
+  /// test target declares no `TEST_HOST` — so asserting non-nil outright would fail
+  /// CI on an environment fact rather than a defect. Tie both sides to the same fact:
+  /// the proxy returns an instance exactly when the class resolves.
+  @Test func sharedInstance_matchesWhetherTheClassResolves() {
     let proxy = AudioSessionProxy()
-    // AVAudioSession resolves at runtime on every platform the tests run on.
-    let instance = proxy.sharedInstance()
-    #expect(instance != nil)
+    let classResolves = NSClassFromString(AudioSessionProxy.mangledClassName.rot13()) != nil
+
+    #expect((proxy.sharedInstance() != nil) == classResolves)
+  }
+
+  /// The check above ties both sides to `mangledClassName`, so a typo in the constant
+  /// sends them nil together and leaves the suite green — while every microphone
+  /// permission read silently degrades to the unavailable sentinel. Pin the decoded
+  /// names deterministically instead, the way the Contacts, Location, and Tracking
+  /// proxy suites do. The literals land in the test binary, not the shipped SDK, so
+  /// they don't undo the mangling.
+  @Test func mangledClassName_decodesCorrectly() {
+    #expect(AudioSessionProxy.mangledClassName.rot13() == "AVAudioSession")
+  }
+
+  @Test func selectorNames_areCorrectlyDecoded() {
+    #expect(AudioSessionProxy.mangledSharedInstanceSelector.rot13() == "sharedInstance")
+    #expect(AudioSessionProxy.mangledRecordPermissionSelector.rot13() == "recordPermission")
+    #expect(AudioSessionProxy.mangledRequestPermissionSelector.rot13() == "requestRecordPermission:")
   }
 }